Tag: Bus

• The Peculiar Awards 2018

  Dear reader, the time is now upon us for the first annual Peculiar awards, which are (or at least are intended to be) a bit of a tongue-in-cheek look back at various things I’ve done over the year, which you may or may not find amusing. Bear in mind that this is all entirely my opinion based on journeys I’ve made and things I’ve done, and is far from comprehensive. Without further ado…

   

  Worst Awards

  The first awards are for the worst in various categories, or at least for things of which I disapprove. We shall start with the easiest one, which is:

  Worst Bus Company: Centrebus

  Ideally I would have liked to nominate several companies for each award, but really there was no competition for this one. That winning combination of clapped-out vehicles, rude staff and comically infrequent timetables never ceases to amaze (though not in a good way). It is true that they are not an enormous company, but that really ought not to be an excuse.

  Small wonder that everyone I know who used to travel Centrebus now goes by car. I do hope they’re pleased with their award.

  Worst Railway Station: Birmingham Snow Hill

  While I have travelled to some excellent stations in the past year or so, I have also seen some very awful ones. Despite this, it was not difficult to award this to Birmingham Snow Hill.

  Snow Hill is an excellent monument to the utter folly of replacing beautiful Victorian and Edwardian structures with modern concrete ones, inevitably with a rather grim shopping centre on top. To add insult to injury, the platform buildings appear to be made out of shipping containers. One gets the distinct feeling there that one is self-loading cargo rather than a passenger.

  Honourable Mention: Walsall, for much the same reasons as Snow Hill. The only redeeming feature of Walsall station is the interesting glass shelter on one of the platforms.

  Worst Train Operator: Thameslink

  I’m sure that, if you have read just about anything I’ve ever written, you would have noticed that I am a big fan of trains and railways in general. It follows that this is a difficult award to choose, since I really don’t like saying trains are bad. That said, I also live in the real world and so I must admit, some train operators are bad.

  One may question why I didn’t mention Northern. At the moment, Northern is beset by strikes, cancellations and delays, and they are really not providing the service the North deserves. So why don’t they win? Well, almost nothing that is going wrong is their fault. Not enough seats? Blame Network Rail’s shocking (sorry) record on electrification, Hitachi’s embarrassing  cock-up north of the border (see this article) and the lack of foresight of the previous franchise. Cancelled trains on a Saturday? Blame the Government push for Driver Controlled Operation and the inevitable battle with the trade unions.

  No, this years’ award goes to Thameslink, or to give them their full title, Govia Thameslink Railway (Railway is a bit misleading since they actually only run trains, but we’ll gloss over that). This is a huge management contract (yes, not a franchise) that spans Thameslink, Great Northern, Southern and Gatwick Express. You don’t need me to tell you about the failure of the May timetable, or the chaos on Southern, or the crap seating, since if you’ve been to London recently you’ll know all about it. I know I’m kicking a dead horse here, but the facts are inescapable. It doesn’t help that the new Thameslink trains, which are supposed to be a great leap forward, are painted exactly the same as the trains they replaced, so no-one who might be tempted to travel by train has any idea anything has changed.

  However, the Department for Transport doesn’t get away scot free, since they are responsible for the management contract nonsense. This means that all the revenue goes directly to the DfT, and then they pay a fee to Govia to manage the day-to-day running. Thus Govia are plugged directly into politics, rather than customer service, and have little incentive to do better.

  Most Laughable Statement by A Train Operator on Twitter: LNER

  This award almost went to Thameslink, for claiming that their service was “Poundland Cooking Chocolate”, which is completely inaccurate since Poundland Cooking Chocolate may be obtained reliably in clearly advertised places during clearly advertised opening hours, which is more than could be said for Thamselink this year.

  No, this goes to LNER, for calling their livery a “new look” several times, despite the fact that the only change was rubbing off the Virgin logo and writing LNER (with the N pointing Northwest, obviously). I suppose next time I put on slippers I’ll be flaunting my “new look” around the house…

  Tourist Attraction That Isn’t Worth Your Money: Titanic Belfast

  I know this may come as a surprise, but the problem with Titanic Belfast is that there are few actual artefacts, because Titanic herself now lies in pieces on the bottom of the Atlantic. The designers of this museum have tried to compensate by making it one of these interactive experience type things, and by making the building striking to look at, and it’s not awful, but it’s not worth the £18.50 adult ticket price.

  Most Unpleasant Surprise: The Demise of Virgin Trains East Coast

  It may be outside the media narrative, but Virgin Trains East Coast managed to succeed in running more trains, refurbishing their entire fleet in record time, and paying more to Government than the state-owned East Coast did. When they fell into financial trouble (through premium payments to the Government), the Government decided that rather than renegotiating, they’d give it to the state-controlled Operator of Last Resort, LNER, who have no links whatsoever to the much-loved steam railway and are instead run by Canadian firm SNC Lavalin, not the two British companies (Virgin and Stagecoach) who ran Virgin Trains East Coast.

  It would appear that this was done so the Government wasn’t seen as “giving in” to a private company. It shows just how far from the reality the political narrative on the railways is these days, so expect to see more of this kind of nonsense in 2019.

   

  Best Awards

  Right, now that rather long and dull worst section is over, time for all the awards that might actually be worth winning.

  Most Pleasant Surprise: Megabus

  Yes, this year’s award goes to Megabus, for actually being pretty decent despite billing themselves as a budget coach operator. True, they’re not especially fast, or really that punctual, but hey, no coach operator really is, and you get a reasonably comfy seat (Thameslink take note), power and Wi-Fi. Add in a handy website and you have the makings of a worthy winner.

  For more, see this article I wrote earlier in the year.

  Honourable mention: Birmingham New Street First Class lounge. I was not expecting much, since Birmingham New Street is certainly not an elegant Victorian or Edwardian station (though it has improved considerably in recent years). However, the First Class lounge was clean, the service was excellent, staff polite, the furnishings tasteful and the self-service catering well stocked.

  Best Bus Company: National Express West Midlands

  Platinum buses, good value passes and regular timetables. What more can one ask for? I have gone on about this before (see this article) but suffice to say, as buses go, you can’t go far wrong.

  Honourable mention: First
  This comes for literally no other reason than the fact that they run one bus in Birmingham (the 144, in case you were wondering)  and it is quite amusing to see all the National Express buses dwarf a tiny little green First bus. At least they tried, I suppose.

  Best Railway Station: Rothley, Great Central Railway

  I will grant you that this one isn’t on the national network, but it is one of the nicest places I’ve ever been. Rothley lies near-ish the village from which it gets its name, just south of Quorn & Woodhouse. It has been beautifully restored to its Edwardian condition, in almost every detail (if you don’t believe me, have a look at old postcards of the station). Ellis’ tea room is also well worth a visit, if you have the time.

  Honourable mention: Birmingham Moor Street. By far the best station in Birmingham, with consideration given to the stations heritage at every turn. Concrete is very hard to find here – it’s all lovely brickwork, ironmongery and glass. The Centenary Lounge is also a lovely place to stop for a coffee, having been done up in a wonderful art-deco style. It’s not cheap, but these coffee places rarely are anyways.

  Best Train Operator: Chiltern Railways

   

  While there are many good candidates for this award, Chiltern has just clinched it. The obvious question is why, in a year when I have travelled first class, at 125 mph, on tilting trains and grand old High Speed Trains, have Chiltern, a relatively small operator, clinched it?

  All I can say is that they get the basics right. On their silver trains, even standard class has impressive legroom, curtains, proper sized tables, tasteful furnishings and plenty of natural light. The old mark 3 coaches have really been brought up to date, with doors that fit flush to the bodyside, a far more pleasing result than some newer rolling stock. Not that there are any fancy gimmicks – the train doesn’t tilt, it doesn’t reach particularly high speeds and it doesn’t do any bi-mode or electrical magic.

  Now I will grant you that not all their trains are quite that good, but even on their more basic diesel multiple unit trains, the seats have plenty of padding and the interior environment has been made pleasant enough, at least on those serving Birmingham Moor Street. Other operators (and the Department for Transport) would do well to take notice.

  Tourist Attraction That Is Worth Your Money: National Museum of Scotland, Edinburgh

  While entry is technically free, they do ask for a voluntary donation of a few of your hard earned Great British Pounds, which is definitely worth it.

  For your few quid, you get a museum packed to the eyeballs with stuff, from well over 6000 years ago (in fact, I never managed to get through the entire Early Peoples exhibition, despite spending hours there) right up to more recent stuff (huge numbers of old computers, aeroplanes, cars, and so on). Basically, if you are in Edinburgh, do go along, you won’t regret it (but you will want to go back).

  Conclusion

  This year, as (hopefully) I have been able to get across, has definitely had its fair share of good and bad. Although I didn’t try to be comprehensive, if there’s anything glaring that I’ve left out, please do let me know.

  And finally, a small thank you. Yes, I know this isn’t exactly a popular website and I know that much of what I write is waffle, but I really do enjoy writing this stuff and I’m rather glad that you (yes, you, the handsome/beautiful/charming /devilishly clever one reading this on your computing device of some description) do read this stuff, if the people I talk to are anything to go by. I do hope to bring you some more regular content in 2019, but as usual I cannot promise anything.

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  December 31, 2018

  2018, Awards, Best, Bus, Rail, Stations, Worst

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• The Joy & Despair of Commuting By Bus

  Dear reader, you may have noticed, having read many of my previous articles, that I am very much in favour of railways. And there are many good reasons for this, from the sheer economy that comes with steel wheels running on a steel rail, to the incredible safety record of Britain’s railways. However, in some circumstances, one must leave the steel ribbon behind and use a bus, on a road of tarmac.

  Firstly, I would like to clarify that I am not talking about coaches here. If you do want to see my take on coaches, see this article on Megabus. Buses differ substantially, and tend to be used on much shorter trips, and thus end up with many commuters on them, notably in cities. They are also, unfortunately, a fair amount slower by virtue of the sort of roads they travel on, than the aforementioned coaches.

  The operator of choice in this case is National Express West Midlands, who run the majority of the buses in Birmingham (there is some confusion as they do not run coaches, unlike the parent company, National Express). NEWM (as I shall now refer to them) seem a rather confused company at first glance, since they do not seem to be able to decide on a livery.

  Many of their buses are in an older livery, with a sort of red triangle on the front third of the bus, and white over the rest, save the windows which occasionally get a black band around them. Other markings, for particular routes (and their virtues) do make an appearance on some buses. This is a poor choice of colour scheme since the white shows road dirt, rather than the paintwork, off, and colours one’s perception before even stepping aboard. The route markings are a neat idea, but fail to disguise the fact that most of the bus is very plain, at least to look at.

  Some are in a newer crimson livery; a much more pleasing result. A slightly darker shade of red adorns the section of the bus below the windows, and hides dirt much better. The pattern is a far more modern “swoosh” at the front (hard to explain unless you’ve seen it yourself) and the overall appearance is that bit nicer. Not that I have seen many of these in my neck of the woods, but it’s nice to know they exist.

  The best, however, I have saved for last. In the same pattern as the crimson buses, the “Platinum” buses have two-tone dark grey exteriors, which would run the risk of being bland, except for the large, eye catching advertisements for the buses on the sides, applied directly to the paintwork (though I suspect they are stickers). It is interesting that NEWM really do like to shout about themselves a lot more than the trains do – then again, the trains have no shortage of passengers, but I digress.

  Waiting for the bus is a far less predictable experience than waiting for a train. It is far easier to run trains at regular intervals because timetable planners for the stopping trains already know when faster trains are going to be where, and so can fit their trains around them. Road traffic is a far harsher mistress – the traffic does not run to a timetable, and this has the sadly inevitable result that even though you might dispatch the buses at intervals, they tend to bunch up and get stuck. The result is the familiar “wait ages for a bus, then 2 come along at once” phenomenon, at least on weekday mornings. This is in spite of the promised 10 minute frequency.

  That said, when the bus does eventually arrive, things begin to improve. Like the local trains, one has the option to use a smartcard. In Birmingham, these are called “Swift” cards. Mine is handy since I’ve got an unlimited bus travel one, that works out as almost ludicrously cheap per day, and makes life much quicker when you get on. Even if one doesn’t have a card, the ticketing system (almost) couldn’t be simpler – £1.50 for a short hop, £2.40 for a slightly longer single, £4.60 for a day ticket (valid on all their buses). One can even use one’s contactless bank card to avoid coins (interestingly, NEWM do not give change, there is just a slot to put your money in when you ask for a ticket).

  How things go from here really depends which sort of bus one finds oneself on. If you have the older red and white ones, the interior greets you with cold indifference – the seat fabric is an unappealing series of grey dots on a grey-er background of dark, dull grey, the interior scheme doesn’t really match and one gets the impression that the appearance to passengers was quietly forgotten at some point during the design stage.

  However, if you find yourself on a Platinum bus (the big grey ones) you are greeted far more warmly. Seats have a nice pattern of red dots on grey, with leather headrests and much more legroom than you would expect from a bus (good work, designers). The USB power sockets are a nice touch, and their little blue lights match the uplighting on the stairway glass. Sitting down, the seats are at least as comfortable as they look, and the whole interior “fits” together much better. It even looks quite classy. This standard of interior design is unfortunately becoming rarer on the railways, where price for the leasing company, operator, or the Department for Transport seems to be the biggest consideration, not, as one would hope, passenger comfort.

  The aforementioned joy of commuting by bus is having the comfortable seat, and the commanding top deck position, while kicking back, reading today’s Metro and generally relaxing on one’s way. This situation is improved enormously if there is no traffic and no annoying school children (of course, un-annoying school children are allowed). If one can get the left hand front seats to oneself (the right-hand ones have no leather headrests, much to my chagrin) one looks out through tinted glass and can enjoy one of the best views of Birmingham it is possible to get (though of course what you make of Birmingham is up to you).

  Perhaps here the Metro itself deserves a mention. I am assuming most people are aware of this free newspaper; after all, most railway stations have a container for these things, at least outside London, and buses (even the thoroughly mediocre Centrebus) have containers for them. In London, one can have both the Metro and the Evening Standard, but I digress. The Metro has to cater for everyone using public transport; a difficult task further complicated by the constraint of the paper’s low cost. I do believe, however, that the final paper is a perfectly acceptable rag, with most of the pointless bickering and gossip of the tabloids filtered out and some reasonably well put together actual news stories. Don’t expect any long reads or proper investigative journalism, but as a morning briefing, you could do far worse. And if you were driving you wouldn’t get any sort of free paper, nor would you be able to read it while travelling, so there is that advantage.

  The time now comes for me to tell you, dear readers, about the downsides to commuting by bus, the aforementioned despair. First off, the traffic creates not only the problem of buses bunching up, but it also means that getting anywhere becomes a very slow process. Crawling along in traffic is never fun, and lengthens the door to door travel time enormously, in some cases to the point where it is actually quicker to walk (I am told that in London the problem is so bad that in the majority of cases, walking is quicker).

  On the subject of other modes of transport being quicker, a friend and I decided to compare bus with train, with a very direct comparison of going form one point to another, with neither being a station for either mode. Now, this isn’t as daft an idea as it sounds – although the trains are much quicker, they are a bit less regular, at least in theory, and if the bus could get a good run through the traffic, there was some potential for me to win this race. I didn’t. Even in (almost) ideal conditions, when I got on a bus straight away, and the traffic was relatively light, and then I ran in a rather undignified fashion through the charming streets of Birmingham, my friend still beat me comfortably by a few minutes. Repeating the experiment provided the same result.

  Much like trains, buses also get crowded in the morning and evening peak. I have concluded that, in order to be really comfortable on the bus, one needs to be on a bus before 0800, or preferably at about 0730. This is before the traffic has really got going, before most school children have arrived and before most people can be bothered, at least in Birmingham. This creates the rather obvious problem of a rush to get up, dressed, have breakfast (the most important meal of the day, as I am quite sure no-one has ever condescendingly told you), clean one’s teeth and pack one’s bag, in order to be at the bus stop in reasonable time. I personally see it as worth it for a quiet bus and an almost guaranteed copy of the Metro, but I can see how it *might* be a disadvantage for some.

  Alas, after that 1,521 word tirade, we must come to an end, and press the proverbial stop bell, waiting to get off the article, thanking the driver as we go by. And out we go, onto the rest of the wide, wide internet (hopefully to spread the word about this article). It only remains for me to thank you for reading, and politely remind you to keep your feet off the seats.

  — Photo by Luis Quintero from Pexels —

   

   

   

   

   

   

  October 21, 2018

  Birmingham, Bus, Buses, Commuting, National Express West Midlands, NEWM, Travel

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